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First secret

I am not your typical young woman, most people would actually call me a girl. But you know what? Girls don't do the things that i do, girls don't enjoy intimate, rough, passionate sex like i do. They will cry after a man who just used them for sex, they are so innocent and can't see the world like i do. I use people, especially man, i fuck them, they don't mean shit to me.

Darling, i have seen some disturbing shit in my lifetime. I might be young, but not too young.  My childhood taught to never, ever get attached to anyone or anything. NOTHING lasts forever. Maybe thats why i only want the things that bring the most pleasure but last only a moment...

Are you ready for my first secret? I have boyfriend. In the daylight i am a sweet and lovely girlfriend, but when the night comes... i want someone else. Someone more dangerous, someone who will fuck me like i want it... Since i was 14, i always had someone. Always a boyfriend in line. This might suprise you, but all my relationships have been pretty long. One of them was 4 years long, and you know what? He never knew what kind of devil i really am. I kept secrets, i still do. Even my own mother doesn't know who i really am.

I needed to tell someone. Because... maybe i am hurting myself too? I seem like someone else to the outside world, always constantly hiding my sinful ways. I look like a upper class young woman, wearing beautiful clothes, makeup on fleek, long dark hair shining in the sun. But under that.. i am wearing the kind of lingerie that you only wear when you want someone to rip them off..

Am i sorry? I am not sure, but sometimes i feel the need to heal myself from this. Am i a sex addict? What am i?

With dark love, Gemini.


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